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ILFORD

A Church of England vicar shouted: ‘I’m from the Vatican, you’re f*cked’ as he brawled with police after a vodka-fuelled nightclub binge.

Parish priest Gareth Jones, 36, yelled: ‘I have diplomatic immunity’ as he punched, kicked, bit and spat at a police officer and a paramedic who found him passed out in his clerical frock on Charing Cross Road, in Covent Garden, central London.

When paramedic Ian Pollock gently shook the passed-out pastor at 2.30am to check he was alright, he awoke and growled: ‘I am going to f*ck you up.’

Jones threatened to attack Mr Pollock but was unable to stand up after downing three bottles of wine, several pints of beer, a number of gin and tonics and vodka during a binge of Biblical proportions.

The married father-of-one, who was ordained in 2006 and serves at St Mary and the Virgin in Great Ilford, northeast London, then lashed out and kicked the emergency worker twice in the leg.

Fearing for his safety, Mr Pollock mounted the violent vicar in the street in a desperate attempt to subdue him.

‘Two police officers on the other side of the road see what’s going on,’ said prosecutor Edward Aydin.

‘Mr Pollock, fearing an attack, positioned himself on top of Mr Jones to protect himself.

‘Mr Jones is still attacking the paramedic, he punches him in the chest then tried to bite his arms and is spitting on him.’

As the officers tried to hold Jones’ legs during the struggle, he kicked PC Andrew Fletcher in the left cheek before claiming he was from the Vatican embassy in a cunning attempt to avoid arrest.

‘He says: ‘I have diplomatic immunity’,’ said Mr Aydin.

‘The officer says ‘which embassy?’ and he says: ‘The Vatican, you’re f*cked.’

‘He is growling makes no attempt to respond to a caution and continues to shout that he has diplomatic immunity.’

He added: ‘I’m not sure if he has anything to do with the Vatican because he is with the Church of England.

‘There’s no relationship between those two religions.’

PC Fletcher had to put a leg strap around the vicar’s ankles before he was put in a police van and taken to Belgravia Police Station.

He told officers he had been drinking at El Vino and The George on Fleet Street before heading to a nightclub in Soho, adding: ‘I am utterly ashamed and sorry for any harm that I have caused.’

Today (Fri) he appeared at Highbury Magistrates’ Court wearing a black suit jacket over a white shirt and blue tie as he pleaded guilty to two counts of assault by beating.

The court heard that Jones has previous convictions for communicating a false bomb hoax, affray, possession of cannabis, fraud, criminal damage, and driving matters, all before he was 21 years old.

‘Mr Jones told me he had a misspent youth,’ said Dominic Hockley, defending.

‘He is deeply ashamed, he is entirely remorseful, it is a far cry from a man who in 2006 having been ordained as a pastor set up in Brighton and Hove the ‘Street Pastors’ who go acting with the police and with the paramedics looking after homeless drunks and those on drugs.’

Mr Hockley told the court that Jones had consumed around 53 units of alcohol before the incident and is seeking help to deal with alcoholism.

He said: ‘The drinking had moved on from social drinking with his wife to something far more devastating.

‘To say that this incident has been a wake-up call would be an understatement.’

Jones will have to face an ecclesiastical court which may impose a lifetime ban on him serving the church after his conviction.

‘It will mean that his position at his current church is in jeopardy and he will have to move out of the family home,’ said Mr Hockley.

‘This will have huge implications on his career, family life and his home.’

District Judge Robin McPhee ordered Jones to pay £700 in fines, £200 compensation to PC Fletcher, £200 compensation to Mr Pollock, as well as £85 prosecution costs and a £35 victim surcharge.

He said: ‘You have known for two years that you had a significant problem with alcohol which you told me.

‘Nonetheless you decided to go out and drink to the extent that you are found asleep in a doorway.’

He continued: ‘Both of these individuals are working in the public sector providing a service to the public, and in these circumstances not only were they providing a public service, but they were specifically coming to assist you.’

Judge McPhee accepted that Jones was remorseful and said he had ‘turned his life around’ after the  convictions from his youth.

Jones, of South Park Road, Ilford, northeast London, is said to be cooperating with Redbridge Alcohol Services and AA as he seeks help with his alcoholism.

source: Court News UK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Brief Compendium of “Are You Seriously Going to Eat That?” by MessyNessy

crabcake

Crab cakes anyone? They should have a museum out of misfortunate mid-century menus. Seriously, what were they thinking? Food styling has come a long, long way. I dare you to make one for your Friday night dinner guests. It’s April Fool’s after all…

nesbitt

Shrimp Cocktail Tree, found on Pinterest.

 

eggtreats

Stanley Kubrick Egg Treats, found on Flickr.

 

5658325000_f8ae99e9bf_o

You’re going to need a bigger drink. World of Scandinavian Food, found on Flickr.

 

hams

The Prettiest Hams On The Block From the Book Of Buffets, 1968 found on Flickr

 

mosaicmouuse

Mosaic Shrimp and Salmon Mousse, found on Flickr.

 

4347233931_045c9b3710_o

Did they have no decency? Found on Flickr.

atora1

Atora is an existing British brand of shredded suet, which is clarified beef fat, primarily used in the production of pastry and dumplings. Found on Flickr.

 

seafoam

Sea-foam Cantaloupe Pie, BH&G Cookbook, Pies And Cakes, 1966, find the recipe here.

 

pineapple

Liver Sausage Pineapple from a 1953 Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.

One pound of liver sausage with lemon juice, worcestershire sauce and mayonnaise shaped like a pineapple. The lovely yellow coating on the outside is made out of unflavored gelatin and mayonnaise. You “frost it” with the jello mayo, score it, and stick little olive slices all over it.” The recipe says to top “with a real pineapple top for fun!” They also helpfully mention that you should serve hot coffee with this whole spread.

Found on Turkey Sandwich.

 

almondshaystack

Almonds in a Haystack Appetizer, an advertisement for Miracle Whip, found on Pinterest.

Tuna-MackerelPicnicLoaf

Tuna ‘n Mackerel Picnic Loaf, found on Flickr.

 

sanwich

Horrible Cream Cheese Sandwich Thing masquerading as a cake. Found on Flickr.

 

limecheesesalad

Lime Cheese Salad, mmmm. Found on Kitschy Living.

 

4312668571_024ed6f872_o

Give them credit for the Art Deco effort. Found on Flickr.

 

mayonnaisecake

Oh Mrs. Filbert. Found on Flickr.

 

vegetables

Could be a small plate of vegetable mousse, could be that the owner has a very large dog.

Found on the Gallery of Regrettable Food.

more regretable errrrrrr nostalgic food pics MessyNessy

 

 

 

 

 

 

21 Things That Prove Fucking Hipsters Have Taken Over Scotland

curated by Hilary Mitchell

The Bearded Ones have finally made it north of the border.

1. This “upcycled” cigarette machine aquarium in a Glasgow bar.

This "upcycled" cigarette machine aquarium in a Glasgow bar.

“Does it matter that we can’t really see the fish?” “No.”

2. An Aberdeen restaurant that serves food in a bin lid.

An Aberdeen restaurant that serves food in a bin lid.

Clatty bastards.

3. And a Glasgow pub that serves its chicken wings in a pissing treasure chest.

And a Glasgow pub that serves its chicken wings in a pissing treasure chest.

“Are we a pirate-themed bar?” “No.” “Then why do…” “You’re fired.”

4. Everything about this photo of a cocktail bar in Edinburgh, but particularly the hairdryer light.

5. This fucking wine glass filled with sausage and mash.

This fucking wine glass filled with sausage and mash.

6. And this “mugotto”.

“Our special today is risotto in a mug.” “Why is it special?” “It’s in a mug.” (Pic: @AFraserAllen)

— We Want Plates (@WeWantPlates)

7. This twee eatery in Dollar, which has forgotten how to table.

This twee eatery in Dollar, which has forgotten how to table.

“Does it matter that people can’t fit their legs underneath it?” “No.”

More proof at Buzzfeed

Top Ten Pictures Of Cats Being Very Grateful For All Of The Things You Do For Them

Cats. You buy them things, and they don't give a darn. Spend hours making stuff for them, or lugging something home from Petsmart and then they pull crap like this guy.

Cats. You buy them things, and they don’t give a darn. Spend hours making stuff for them, or lugging something home from Petsmart and then they pull crap like this guy.

Sometimes you spend money. Sometimes you spend $25. Sometimes she chooses the dustpan instead.
Are you kidding me.
I suppose you have to be grateful that this cat is actually using this scratching post, even if it might not be in the way intended.
Sure, Fluffles. Why not.
Honestly what I’m learning from this is that maybe cats just like cardboard boxes. Maybe we should just make cardboard boxes for cats and not buy them toys anymore?
I’m just trying to save some money here.source and more pics at: Playbuzz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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